Growing up I could not wait to be a ballerina or astronaut or teacher. I had always wanted to be a wife and mother, but that was always second place to me. I had in my mind that only I could make myself a future that I was happy with.
Oh boy, was I wrong…
Speaking of boys – I mean men. In college, I fell head over heels for my husband. He was never a question of yes or a no; it was very clear that God had put him in my life. But that story is for a different time. A few years in to our dating, we started discussing marriage seriously. We both deeply loved kids and knew that children would be a part of our future. My future husband asked me, “If our lifestyle permits, would you please stay home with our children?” And be a ballerina or astronaut or teacher?? My mind was racing. But my heart was very much in love. So, I told him, if that was what he wanted me to do, I admire the decisions he makes and guidance that he has for our lives. So, yes!
I had no idea of what I was getting myself in to. My mom had always been a working mom and I was not familiar with the stay at home lifestyle. Do I get to wear pajamas every day? What happens if I’m not their favorite? How am I going to take care of my husband and myself if I only take care of kids all day? Some days I still have those questions, but they do not matter or they are not relevant.
There are a lot more things that matter more, now:
Being able to take both of my babies to bible study with me, where they go to a class too.
Taking them to go see their real favorite, their dad, at his office during the day.
Taking my daughter to her first dance class.
And holding my little boy while he naps.
Earlier today, while we were in the car, I heard my little girl tell my baby boy, “Burky, you were SO good at your doctor’s appointment yesterday, I am so proud of you.” Well I am proud of them; they provide me with more joy than I could have ever imagined. Are there hard days? Yes, more than easy ones. But, every day is filled with love and admiration for one another.
I also do not believe that being a stay at home mom is the best “yes” for every family. A wonderful mother is a wonderful mother, and I admire them all.
When I told my husband “yes”, I did not realize that our future children were going to teach me more about myself than I was ever going to teach them. I know this time with them at home is short and temporary but I do my best to soak it all up.
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